Blog Entries

September 27th 2025

Today was the first day this week I didn't have to wake up at 5:00am this morning. I slept in an additional 3 hours before getting up and getting ready to go out today. I got a call that I got the job I aplied for earlier this week, so today I went into Calgary to get some dress pants and blouses. The dress code for where I start my job is black dress pants and black dress shirts, which I own neither of.

We went to the thrift store in the richy rich part of calgary to get our clothes. They had a good selection of clothes, although not a very goof selection of CDs. I watched a video on YouTube about how physical media is coming back and it inspired me to restart my CD collection. I only wish that I hadn't thrown out my old CDs when I moved to Dartmouth.

Once we got out of thge thrift store I took a hit off the penjamin in the parking lot. Across the parking lot was a McDonalds. My step sister was thirsty, so we drove over to the drive through to get some drinks, I also got some fries. My step sister didn't find any pants that fit her so we went to the thrift store closer to our house. The drive over there was all vibes. I had my fries, I was feeling the penjamin, and I was jamming out to my tunes.

The next thrift store that I went to I let my step sister and my step mother do their own thing while I looked for any CDs. I looked all over the thrift store but couldn't find them on my own. I ended up asking one of ther store employees for help. Once I found the CDs I spent a while going through them. I didn't even get a chance to look through them all. Most of the ones on the top shelf were classical music, but I found some that were worth buying. I also found the Forest Gump soundtrack, which if you know anything about the movie, you know they had a banger soundtrack.

Once we came back I did a fashion show for my dad. The pants were too long so my dad offered to take me to the tailors. The tailors was at a mall near the mall I work at. It's a really weird mall that is full of thgese different glass rooms, and each room is a store. There's blocks of these rooms and it's very easy to get lost. I was glad my Dad and my step mom were there because they knew where things were. The tailors were quick to measure me and write up a price for hemming my pants.

After we went to the tailors we stopped at the British themed store and got British treats. After, we went to the candy store and got EVEN MORE treats. I got a cinnabon iced coffee, knowing full and well that it's gonna give me a panic attack when I drink it. We got back in the car and drove back home. I'm so tired, I'm gonna sleep good tonight.

September 1st 2025

Today I got a new tattoo! It's the secong tattoo I've gotten, the first one was a semicolon I got for my 16th birthday, since then, I've just been too broke to get any more tatttoos. I'm still really broke, but I won a giftcard for 200$ at a tattoo parlour.

I put my name in a draw back in early August at a car show. I didn't think I'd win so I didn't think much about it until after when they called me to tell me I won. The day I found out was also the day I found out that my cat back home in Nova Scotia was missing for four days and no one told me. I was so heart broken I decided to get a tattoo of my cat, Doom, in honour of her.

About a week after I found out Doom was missing, she returned, but I still felt I had to get a tattooo for her since I missed her so much. Today was the big day. I hyped myself up for it so much that I couldn't sleep the night before. Instead, I made a playlist with over 400 song based off thew songs in my MP3 player. I also downloaded the first 4 episodes of Veronica Mars onto my MP3 player.

When the time finally came for me to get the tattoo I was surprised by how relaxed the enviroment was. There was a TV that I watched Community on while I got tatted. I brought my mushroom plushie and my blanket with me and settled in for what I thought would be a painful experience but turned out to be pretty relaxing. Maybe I just have a high pain tolerence, but I could've fallen asleep while he was tattooing me. It was a really relaxing and easy going experience.

When I was all done my dad picked me up and bought me ice cream. I got cookie dough ice cream. We went home and I showed off my tattoo off to my step sister and my step mom. I really like how the tattoo turned out

August 24th 2025

Today we went down to Calgary to herritage park for family day. I've never gone before so I was really excited to see everything. I wore a long flowy skirt which made me feel like I was a part of the old timey scenery, except the top half of me which was giving alt hippy vibes. It was really hot so I'm happy I dressed lightly.

I mostly explored the park with my step sister and step mom while my dad explored the park with my little brother. We went to the pop shop while they went on the train that goes around the park. I didn't go with them because I have a weird phobia of train whistles. The train goes around the park blowing its whistle every so often, I was really glad I brought my MP3 player with me.

On our way out of the park there was a hose misting water. I ran through it a couple times, twirling my long skirt and feeling like a princess. It was really refreshing after a long 3ish hours of walking through the park. I'm pretty sure we saw every exhibit and went into mostly every building. On the way home I put in my earbuds and I closed my eyes. I tried to sleep, but my paranoia makes it hard for me to sleep in anything that's moving. I was so tired I was pretty close to falling asleep though.

July 7th 2025

Today I woke up early again. Just when I think I'm used to the new timezone, I try to sleep in and wake up at 7:00am. I decided to read for a little while, and before I knew it, I read 13 pages. I never realized how much I missed reading until I sat down and started reading again. I've lost so much of who I am due to trauma, it's nice to rediscover my passions and discover new ones

Later on, I went with my step mom to the recycling plant to look at old bikes. We have bikes at home, but they're all too big for me. There were a couple of bikes at the recycling plant that were my size, but they just didn't fit right. I was just about to settle on a bike when this guy in a truck pulled up with three old bikes in his truck bed. There was this one he pulled off the bed that was blue and purple and just my size! I tested it out driving around the parking lot. It rode like a dream, and by dream I mean I was close enought to the ground where I didn't feel like a saftey hazard on wheels. We payed 10$ for the bike, then went over to the book nook to look at the free used books

Turns out they're looking at someone to volunteer to organized all of the books. Now that's something that's right up my ally! Books and organization? sign me up! I gave one of the people my name and number for them to call me with more information regarding the volunteer work before leaving the recycling plant. On our way home I started day dreaming about all the ways I could organize the books; by colour, genre, alphabetically? The possibilities are endless

July 1st 2025

Today was Canada Day, I don't really like celebrating, as Canada still has a lot of problems we need fixing, and for that I don't celebrate. You can call me a party pooper all you want, but I won't celebrate until we can all celebrate.

Instead of celebrating Canada, I decided to celebrate every other culture by going to the culture festival at the park. I had a really fun time looking at all the different booths and learning about different cultures. Everything was so colourful, lots of warm tones and jewel tones, it felt like every culture had theiur own colour scheme.

I had exactly 3$ so I tried to look for the booths with food samples I could try. There was one booth that was selling cakes and bookmarks. The book marks were 3 dollars, so of course I bought one. They were also giving out cake samples. vanilla, chocolate, and ube. For those who don't know, ube is sorta like a purple sweet potato. It tasted so good!

There was another booth where this lady was selling handmade earrings. There were ones that were shaped like lemons that I really wanted to get but they were 35$. They lady offered to take the price down, but as an artist I really wanted to pay full price for her work. I ended up taking a card for her business so that once I get a job I can come back for the earrings.

I looked at a few more booths, stopping at this one booth that showed different items from India from before they had electricity. The items were similar to western european tools from the same time, yet these ones had more colour and they were shaped differently. Like the spool to make yarn for fabric it looked similar to the one my grandmother used to have, yet also different.

Overall, I had a really nice time, I can't wait for whatever festival they have at the park next time!

June 29th 2025

Today I had a job interview. It's for a company I've worked for before, but it's better than nothing. Its for a night time grocery stocker. It'd be nice to work at night during the summer... not so much in the winter. But a job is a job and I'm grateful for whatever comes my way.

I wore my dark blue mom jeans with the white belt I stole from my grandmother's bag of things she was donating. It's started falling apart since when I stole it but I still use it. I wore my white tank top with the blue ditsy floral print, then I wore my oversized pink shawl over top. The shawl gave it that professional look while also covering up the temporary tattoo on my shoulder from the pride festival yesterday.

The interview went pretty well. I think I made a good connection with the interviewer and I was open and honest about myself and my previous jobs. Hopefully it came off like I had lots of experience and not like I can't keep a job.

Even if I don't get the job I'm proud of how relaxed I was. This was the first job interview I've had where I wasn't wrecked with anxiety. My mental health is a lot better out here. The anxiety that I do get now is like the normal people kind of anxiety where your chest feels tight and you feel like you can't breathe. There was once a time where my agoraphobia was so bad I could barely leave my room, let alone the province. When I did get anxious, it was dibilitating panic attacks that made me feel like I was gonna shit myself or throw up. I can't believe I've whethered the storm long enough to come out the other end. I never thought I'd see the day where I'd take on something as nerve wrecking as a job interview so non chalantly.

June 28th 2025

Today I went to the local pride festival with my step sister and her partner. We had a good time there. When we got there, the entrance that we arrived at was under construction. There was a drag queen there in the parking lot who also came across the same problem we were encountering.

"Look's like they're doing construction, want a lift to the other parking lot?" the drag queen asked us.

"Sure!"

They say dont get in strangers cars, but I think there's an acception to the rule when theres a drag queen

We looked around at all the different booths, I was mostly interested in the ones that sold stickers, but there's one booth that peaked my interest that was offering 25% off of sword fighting lessons. I want to learn self defence already, but it'd be cool to incorporate swords into my self defence just for shits and giggles. We went on a tiny train that circled around the park, then once we got off we went got donuts.

It was then time for the drag show which I was really excited for. I was having such a good time, singing and dancing and cheering the queens on. I loved all the different looks and performances. There was one queen who had this gorgeous hand dyed wig and hand made corset. She danced to Lady Gaga's Abracadabra. Towards the end of ther performance she pointed at me, then invited me up to dance with her!! I was starstruck! It was definetly a pride festival to remember.