Blog Entries

August 24th 2025

Today we went down to Calgary to herritage park for family day. I've never gone before so I was really excited to see everything. I wore a long flowy skirt which made me feel like I was a part of the old timey scenery, except the top half of me which was giving alt hippy vibes. It was really hot so I'm happy I dressed lightly.

I mostly explored the park with my step sister and step mom while my dad explored the park with my little brother. We went to the pop shop while they went on the train that goes around the park. I didn't go with them because I have a weird phobia of train whistles. The train goes around the park blowing its whistle every so often, I was really glad I brought my MP3 player with me.

On our way out of the park there was a hose misting water. I ran through it a couple times, twirling my long skirt and feeling like a princess. It was really refreshing after a long 3ish hours of walking through the park. I'm pretty sure we saw every exhibit and went into mostly every building. On the way home I put in my earbuds and I closed my eyes. I tried to sleep, but my paranoia makes it hard for me to sleep in anything that's moving. I was so tired I was pretty close to falling asleep though.

July 7th 2025

Today I woke up early again. Just when I think I'm used to the new timezone, I try to sleep in and wake up at 7:00am. I decided to read for a little while, and before I knew it, I read 13 pages. I never realized how much I missed reading until I sat down and started reading again. I've lost so much of who I am due to trauma, it's nice to rediscover my passions and discover new ones

Later on, I went with my step mom to the recycling plant to look at old bikes. We have bikes at home, but they're all too big for me. There were a couple of bikes at the recycling plant that were my size, but they just didn't fit right. I was just about to settle on a bike when this guy in a truck pulled up with three old bikes in his truck bed. There was this one he pulled off the bed that was blue and purple and just my size! I tested it out driving around the parking lot. It rode like a dream, and by dream I mean I was close enought to the ground where I didn't feel like a saftey hazard on wheels. We payed 10$ for the bike, then went over to the book nook to look at the free used books

Turns out they're looking at someone to volunteer to organized all of the books. Now that's something that's right up my ally! Books and organization? sign me up! I gave one of the people my name and number for them to call me with more information regarding the volunteer work before leaving the recycling plant. On our way home I started day dreaming about all the ways I could organize the books; by colour, genre, alphabetically? The possibilities are endless

July 1st 2025

Today was Canada Day, I don't really like celebrating, as Canada still has a lot of problems we need fixing, and for that I don't celebrate. You can call me a party pooper all you want, but I won't celebrate until we can all celebrate.

Instead of celebrating Canada, I decided to celebrate every other culture by going to the culture festival at the park. I had a really fun time looking at all the different booths and learning about different cultures. Everything was so colourful, lots of warm tones and jewel tones, it felt like every culture had theiur own colour scheme.

I had exactly 3$ so I tried to look for the booths with food samples I could try. There was one booth that was selling cakes and bookmarks. The book marks were 3 dollars, so of course I bought one. They were also giving out cake samples. vanilla, chocolate, and ube. For those who don't know, ube is sorta like a purple sweet potato. It tasted so good!

There was another booth where this lady was selling handmade earrings. There were ones that were shaped like lemons that I really wanted to get but they were 35$. They lady offered to take the price down, but as an artist I really wanted to pay full price for her work. I ended up taking a card for her business so that once I get a job I can come back for the earrings.

I looked at a few more booths, stopping at this one booth that showed different items from India from before they had electricity. The items were similar to western european tools from the same time, yet these ones had more colour and they were shaped differently. Like the spool to make yarn for fabric it looked similar to the one my grandmother used to have, yet also different.

Overall, I had a really nice time, I can't wait for whatever festival they have at the park next time!

June 29th 2025

Today I had a job interview. It's for a company I've worked for before, but it's better than nothing. Its for a night time grocery stocker. It'd be nice to work at night during the summer... not so much in the winter. But a job is a job and I'm grateful for whatever comes my way.

I wore my dark blue mom jeans with the white belt I stole from my grandmother's bag of things she was donating. It's started falling apart since when I stole it but I still use it. I wore my white tank top with the blue ditsy floral print, then I wore my oversized pink shawl over top. The shawl gave it that professional look while also covering up the temporary tattoo on my shoulder from the pride festival yesterday.

The interview went pretty well. I think I made a good connection with the interviewer and I was open and honest about myself and my previous jobs. Hopefully it came off like I had lots of experience and not like I can't keep a job.

Even if I don't get the job I'm proud of how relaxed I was. This was the first job interview I've had where I wasn't wrecked with anxiety. My mental health is a lot better out here. The anxiety that I do get now is like the normal people kind of anxiety where your chest feels tight and you feel like you can't breathe. There was once a time where my agoraphobia was so bad I could barely leave my room, let alone the province. When I did get anxious, it was dibilitating panic attacks that made me feel like I was gonna shit myself or throw up. I can't believe I've whethered the storm long enough to come out the other end. I never thought I'd see the day where I'd take on something as nerve wrecking as a job interview so non chalantly.

June 28th 2025

Today I went to the local pride festival with my step sister and her partner. We had a good time there. When we got there, the entrance that we arrived at was under construction. There was a drag queen there in the parking lot who also came across the same problem we were encountering.

"Look's like they're doing construction, want a lift to the other parking lot?" the drag queen asked us.

"Sure!"

They say dont get in strangers cars, but I think there's an acception to the rule when theres a drag queen

We looked around at all the different booths, I was mostly interested in the ones that sold stickers, but there's one booth that peaked my interest that was offering 25% off of sword fighting lessons. I want to learn self defence already, but it'd be cool to incorporate swords into my self defence just for shits and giggles. We went on a tiny train that circled around the park, then once we got off we went got donuts.

It was then time for the drag show which I was really excited for. I was having such a good time, singing and dancing and cheering the queens on. I loved all the different looks and performances. There was one queen who had this gorgeous hand dyed wig and hand made corset. She danced to Lady Gaga's Abracadabra. Towards the end of ther performance she pointed at me, then invited me up to dance with her!! I was starstruck! It was definetly a pride festival to remember.